I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
