So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
