I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
