but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
