i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
