My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
