Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
