The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
