you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
