Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
