Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize