You're so nebulous sometimes
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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