Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
if i died would you start the facebook group?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
