I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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