i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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