who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize