Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
