I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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