I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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