who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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