you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Randomize