I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Randomize
