i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
