CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Will exercising make me less horny?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
