Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
