dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
