I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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