it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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