bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
