got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
