I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
