Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
