I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
