u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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