first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
