pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
