oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
So squirting runs in the family.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
