Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I just got carded by a ten year old.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Randomize
