Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
