she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
