Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
