just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
