The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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