I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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