Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
