i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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