I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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