I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
