We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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