On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Randomize