Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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