just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
