the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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