Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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