the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
