Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
