Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize