Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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