dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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