Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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