I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
